Sergeant Gork (Sanford and Son)

Fred is watching Janet Lawson's son Roger while Lamont is out with the truck, and to pass the time he regales the 10 year old with his exploits during WW2, opening with his impression of George C. Scott's Patton and various cast members play roles in Fred's stories.

Under arrest for such heinous crimes as leaving their Volkswagen in a loading zone, they are interrogated about the River Kwai by Colonel Hiakowa (Pat Morita), who reveals that he studied at Vassar: "Vassar's a girls' school" "now you know what I was studying!"

The Colonel is dismayed to learn that he's in Berlin rather than Guam: "no wonder I can't find the beach!"

Colonel Hiakowa: [to his prisoner Fred] All I want to know is when you are going to blow up the bridge over the river Kwai. Fred G. Sanford: River Kwai? I never heard of it. Colonel Hiakowa: You mean to tell me you never heard that famous song, "Kwai Me a River"?

The eavesdropping Lamont arrives home to inquire as to how little Roger wasn't hurt: "hit by flying bull!"

It aired on March 12, 1976. S05E23

Appearances

• Pat Morita as Colonel Hiakowa